Having Girls is Healing

I'm not going to lie, for years I said I wanted four kids: three boys and one girl.  Maybe I said that because that's what I grew up with or maybe I said that because everyone made it seem like a house with more than one daughter in it would be a total nightmare. 

I remember the day we found out the gender of both our girls.  We didn't want to find out during the ultrasound, we wanted to find out alone at dinner.  The ultrasound tech put it into an envelope for us and at dinner we opened it to reveal the baby's gender.  During my pregnancy with Norah, at the beginning I thought it would be a boy.  I wasn't very sick and everyone said you get very sick with girls so I assumed boy. However, the night before we found out I had a very vivid dream that it was a girl.  The next night we sat at Cheesecake Factory (yum!) and opened that envelope to find out it was in fact a girl.  I think my first reaction was shock.  Growing up with brothers I really had no idea what to do with a girl.  I felt a little thrown off and nervous.

When I was preparing for Norah I kept her room painted the color it had been when we used it as a guest room; kind of a burnt orange color.  It felt outdoorsy and pretty and I made it a little feminine with some flower pictures but I wouldn't have called it a feminine room.  I didn't want any pink.  No pink at my baby shower, no pink in the room and only a few pink clothes.  It seemed so cliche to me and I wasn't going to have it.  

And then she arrived. Tiny and perfect and I had no idea how she would forever change my life in so many ways.

Suddenly I couldn't get enough pink!  More bows!  More dresses!  More frilly pink outfits with pink tights and sparkly pink shoes!  I just had to have it.

Seven and half months later I remember suddenly being very sensitive to smells, exhausted and I was still nursing Norah which began to hurt like the first week.  Four pregnancy tests later and some blood work from the Dr and it was confirmed, another sweet baby on the way.  Immediately I wanted it to be a girl.  Norah had been so much fun and I was enjoying all things girly, I just knew I had to have another one.

Abigayle just hours old in her pink and zebra print hat.  (trying really hard to sleep in the bright lights) Love.

It wasn't just about the clothes or the room (which has since been redone in pink and green) it was about my heart.  A piece of me had never fully embraced my feminne side.  With 3 brothers and trying to keep up with them, I think I just kept that piece of myself covered up.  It wasn't that I was raised to not embrace it, I was a figure skater for crying out loud and both my parents encouraged that; it was something I think I was afraid of.  I wanted to fit in with the guys so badly that I forgot that it's ok to take 20 minutes doing my hair and to wear something with a little ruffle every now and then.

Since having two girls I have felt myself change.  The Lord has opened me up and shown me what an amazingly, wonderful gift it is to be a woman!  Emotional?  Yes!  God designed us that way.  Lover of tea parties?  Absolutely!  Still able to rough it out and go camping?  Of course.

Femininity isn't something to be afraid of or feel bad about, it's something God ordained in me and in other women and we should embrace it!  So, here's to the many years of pink and lace and bows and tights and tutu's.  I love it all.

Norah trying to file Abby's nails.  In her defense, Abby probably needed it.

Painted nails!

Someone found mommy's lipstick

Big, pink, hairbows!


Dress up!  Abigayle in one of my old dresses and Norah in her "princess" dress

I love my baby girls.